Well I am writing this article for myself and everybody interested in what I am. I write this for myself as I have attained AIR PC 21 and AIR 7797, which has been one of the finest, in fact the greatest achievement of life. On paper there’s nothing that separates me from the rest who cracked the JEE Adavanced. I have my pictures posted everywhere in my town. I keep going back and think:
What got me there? How did I do it? Life’s changed since then and what changes are making me a failure now? What is the next best thing?What I am gonna do over rest of my life?
A JEE Advanced success story
Let me ponder over how I was and how I dealt with things.
The results of Class X boards got me pumping. My mind was sharp and my mathematical skills superior to my peers. All credit goes to my father who is a high school teacher of Mathematics. I was an introvert. The Class X boards performance delighted me. But people were not satisfied with my 92.7%. I remember saying to myself, “It won’t matter if you prove yourself in JEE“.
So I was all geared up for it. Initially I went to a renowned teacher for my JEE coaching who was famous for getting few from my town to the IITs. I was there for 2 months during summer after Class 10 or so but was unable to pick up to the level of other students from higher level foundation schools. That raised a few doubts in my mind – whether I was really good or had I rated myself too much.
Then I joined NARAYANA. I had got 65% scholarship in the qualifying test thanks to my luck (gave the 2nd test conducted by them; if I had given the first, I would have never got the scholarship as all the relatively good people gave it). It was one of the very few times when luck had favored me.
It was NARAYANA, Vijayawada then. The material was good, the classrooms were far better and the faculties went slow with their subjects. Things looked in better shape. The organized approach suited me and I was getting confidence.
Maths was fantastic and Physics was good. Chemistry posed a few problems but it was always the least important subject. But even after a few months, my concepts of Physics weren’t developing. So, I started neglecting the subject. It created so many problems.
The performance was coming. The hard work I was putting in was increasing day by day. Although I was 3-4 days a week kind of student but still I was putting effort that I had never put in all my life. IIT looked such a big thing that slowly I felt I would be nobody if I wasn’t in it. The environment was conducive. Everybody seemed to have the same goal. It was coveted as if it was the only big thing in life. So, the motivation was always there and even though there were a few setbacks in a few tests, I really never thought that I didn’t have it in me to crack the exam.
I didn’t perform so well in school throughout the Class XI. I wasn’t too vocal or outgoing either. The only thing I saw was IIT. When one year passed, I was one of the better performers in the batch and IIT looked a certainty. I got 98% in boards too.
But the aims and aspirations got bigger. Now the aim was to get under 500 of state level which looked likely if I give my best and have a good day on the day of the exam. That was to happen but I never knew it before. I was nothing. I was just another unimportant girl until I got there. I was neither charming nor popular and I never had many friends.
Not that I wanted these things but that’s how I was. I used to keep my dreams to myself. I also accept I was quite self-centred during my school times. But I would also like to say that I don’t regret it because I was so kiddish, so unaware and I always improved when others didn’t even though people may have thought or it may seem to them I was never the one who thought too high of herself.
My whole logic was that I am good. I don’t know if I am better or worse than anybody but the only thing that mattered to me was that I give my best and the rest of the competition would take care of itself. I think I have maintained this attitude over the years and I really like this attitude of mine. I am constantly trying to step up not because I want to get ahead of somebody else but only my aim is to beat my past and improve myself each day. I think that was one of the secrets of my JEE achievement.
I don’t know why but there was constant motivations from my faculties which seemed to propel me even more. I had never seen people giving me personalized attention. I never appreciated personalized attention of teachers towards students but I do agree it plays a great role in motivation and I could see the difference. I felt somebody cared for my results and even though its my dream, others cared about it.
That motivated me to strive harder. It was coming straight from the heart. All the hard work…
And then the boards gave me hard time. I just got 92.7 again; it was not expected from me by any of my mates. It took time to adjust with it. I started working much harder. The nights were long, the curriculum endless but all I had to beat them was the desire to get there. It was a journey in which my school, coaching, home and even my mind was obsessed with IIT.
I don’t remember anything else swaying my mind except IIT. Probably that is what you call chasing dreams. Was I positive during the period? Yes I was. Was I an optimist during those years? Maybe not. I have always been kind of neutral towards optimism and pessimism.
Did I really know what IIT was like? No, not at all. Only thing I knew was that I wanted to get there. Did I know how anybody got there. Again, no. Why was I preparing for IIT? Again, I don’t know the answer. So, basically it was an obsession. It seemed too important, too coveted and too admiring and you didn’t need a reason to be preparing for IIT. Maybe that’s some of it.
I think I may have a lot more to share but that’s kind of a brief journey towards JEE. In a different entry I write about how things were and how I changed them and how the results have changed after IIT. But at the end, I love my IIT because it is responsible for everything in my life.483 Views